Adult
adoptee - Kendra Crookston
I have been employed by A Child's
Waiting for less than a year. I have the privilege
of recruiting adoptive homes for the waiting children
of Cuyahoga County. It has always been my dream
to work with adopted children because I am an adopted
child.
I was born in Long Beach, California
in September of 1976. I was adopted in Youngstown,
Ohio in March of 1977. I have no memory of being
told that I was adopted, however, I have always
known. I have been told that I was wanted, that
I was special.
Even though my parents provided me
with enough love for several children, I was plagued
by questions about my origin, my ethnicity, and
my feelings of being unwanted. I constantly scanned
every crowd for another human that looked like
me, laughed like me, someone to connect to physically.
I began searching for my birthparents
in 1999. I had just turned 21. I was thinking about
my future, and perhaps my future family. Adopted
children live with one foot in the real world and
the other placed firmly in fantasy. I imagined
every possible scenario, romanticizing my birth
family.
I approached a local agency for support.
I was warned that the search might never reach
any conclusion. I was able to locate my birth mother
in five days. The story unfolded. She flew me to
LA the next day. I spent the weekend reeling, connecting
to someone who greatly resembled me. We have had
a tenuous but worthwhile relationship for the past
five years. She could not give me any information
regarding my birth father.
In June of this year a member of
my birth father's family contacted me. He contacted
me himself a few days later. He and I are just
beginning to get to know one another.
Adoption has always been a pervasive
part of my life. I wish I was able to explain what
it is like to be an adult adoptee, but I don't
know what it is like to be a birth child. Without
the support of my parents who raised me I would
have never have experienced the feeling of being
truly wanted and accepted. For that, I am eternally
grateful.
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