Armstrong Personal Adoption Story - Part 3

Robin’s friend grew up dealing with a great deal of adversity in her life. She went to a school where she was the minority and was always trying to please the family who was raising her, but could never seem to do enough. She met her father when she was sixteen years old and found out that he lived a few blocks away. My friend heard horrible stories about her mom from her aunt and grandmother. When she was in high school, this friend was expected to get a job and pay for things such as health insurance. After high school, Robin’s friend graduated and was determined to put herself through school. Nobody in the family would help support her financially or emotionally, although the government deemed they should be able to support her financially through school. The friend did put herself through school and for the last two years of school managed to take in her high school aged brother and see him through his high school graduation. Where is this friend today? “This friend is your teacher,” I told the class. You see, I have overcome adversity. I know what it is like to feel stranded, labeled and all alone. I had the choice to use my history and situation as a crutch and become a delinquent. My choice; however was to succeed in life. I put myself through school, found a stable individual to marry, have a wonderful job and have made something of myself. My older sister, she took an alternate route and has ended up strung out on drugs and involved in a lifestyle of gangs and prostitution. My younger brother is still trying to find his way in life. I made a different choice and I want to help you end up with the future that you want. At this point there were very few dry eyes in the classroom. I addressed them with the following, “I don’t know where you have been, and I don’t know where you want to go, but I do know that you are just as capable as I was of making a choice to go either way. So I ask you to tell me your story and tell me where you have been. Let me know especially where you want to go and how you plan to get there.” The remaining hours of class, each one of the students who are labeled with every combination of letters imaginable wrote their story. The next day, essay upon essay was turned into my desk and message upon message were found on my voice mail. 

That evening I read each one of the stories and was amazed at what I read. Nearly every single student in the classroom was in foster care throughout their lives. All of the students had been labeled throughout their academic career. Each and every single student wanted to make the choice to have a successful future. The next day, I sat down with each student and talked to them about their story and how we could get them down the path they wanted to go. As I sat with each student all I could do was apologize for the hurt and pain they had experienced, as no child should ever have to experience the things these students had. Each one told me that I need not apologize for they were grateful that someone had given them a voice and cared enough about them to want to know their story. The parents of my students were amazed to find out information about their children by reading the story and hearing them talk about their assignment. Those same parents called me and wanted to know just how I was able to get their child to open up and share information that nobody knew. From that day on, I had a better understanding of the students and they were motivated to do their best so that they could succeed.