What to Expect During the Matching Process

Once your family has been approved as a potential adoptive family, A Child’s Waiting will begin the matching process. Depending on the program you are in, the procedures and process will vary but the emotional ups and downs will be the same. You will be excited, discouraged, and possibly upset at times if a child you hoped for doesn’t work out and the placement doesn’t occur. Your family will be anxious to bring home a new member of the family and each family’s wait time will vary. Know that the right situation will present itself and the child meant for you will find its way home.

Adoptive families need to know that you have little to no control during the matching process. Individuals who tend to want predictability, structure, and more control of what’s occurring when, may have a more difficult time during this period. You must trust the professionals that are helping you. Your family will be guided and counseled if you need more support.

As opportunities come available, you will receive a call from the agency. All information available at the time will be presented to you but you must realize that information will continue to unfold. If the agency gets more updated facts about a particular situation, it will be disclosed immediately.

Adopting a child from foster care:

If you are hoping to adopt a child from foster care, the amount of information about a child offered at the onset will vary based on the custodial agency’s policy. Some custodial agencies present a wealth of information upfront while others wait until you are identified as the possible family before you receive the file. It is important to understand that you will eventually receive TOTAL disclosure. The “Matching Team” at A Child’s Waiting will present the information to you either verbally or in writing (when available). You must understand that the information that you receive about the child can and will be disturbing at times. There will be documentation of EVERY incident that has occurred in the child’s life. There are often details of abuse or neglect. Additionally, behaviors that the child is currently presenting or has displayed in the past will be described. The file is to give you the information about the child and ALL questions regarding behaviors or diagnoses should be directed to the “Matching Team” before you make a definite decision. Often, once educated about a certain issue or incident, your perspective may change about your ability to parent the child’s needs. You want to focus on what progress or needs have presented themselves within the last six months of the child’s life. Secondly, you must realize that all children have behaviors. Imagine having your own personal file with record of every single time you did something wrong as a child. How would it read?