Jim & Lisa's Open Adoption Story - Part 3

From that day forward our lives changed forever. Jim and I started with A Child’s waiting in Nov. of 2003. We couldn’t believe that the first call we received for a profile was on Thanksgiving Day. A Child’s Waiting must work 365 days a year. You will never find a more wonderful and warm group of people to work with. The biggest difference we found with A Child’s Waiting is that they gave us hope. They were getting our book out there for birth moms to see. Every time Ronda would call us with a profile it would make our day. Jim and I would get so excited because we were that much closer to having our dream.

During our time waiting to be selected by a birth mom we saw the special with Barbara Walters and A Child’s Waiting on 20/20. We already knew that an open adoption was better for the birth mom, but after watching the special on 20/20 we learned that an open adoption was also better for the adopted child. During the special the selected adoptive father was asked how he felt about having an open adoption and he responded saying “how can it be a bad thing to have more people in your child’s life that love him.” It was then that it clicked for us, open adoption is not only best for the birth mother, it is also best for the adoptive child as well. From that day forward we decided to make our future adoption much more open.

During the next several months A Child’s Waiting contacted us over and over again with profiles. Up to this point, we were picked four times to go to the interview process and one of those times we were even selected by a birth mom in New York who had a 5 month old baby girl. We drove to New York twice, but she was not able to go through with the adoption because of family pressures to keep her child. Even though this was another failed adoption for us, we were not as discouraged as the first time because Jennifer and Ronda kept us informed at all times of any problems that were arising with our birth Mom and her situation. It really helps when you are informed. Plus we had so much faith in A Child’s Waiting, we knew they would help us find our child. All in all A Child’s Waiting showed our book 28 times. That was more than anyone’s book had ever been shown at the agency.

For us, 28 was our lucky number because we felt a connection with our birth mom from the moment we first saw her. We met her at a restaurant with Jennifer. She had also met with two other couples. We knew after talking with her that she was the perfect match for us. You just know when it feels right. After we met her a second time with her dad and Jennifer, she told us that she had picked us. We were so happy we cried. We knew in our hearts this one was going to work out, mostly because we had strong feelings for our birth mom. Our birth mom was only 17 years old and she did not have a mother in her life. Once we were selected, we met with our birth mom three more times. We would spend time getting to know her even better. We felt so comfortable with the situation we gave our birth Mom our last name, phone number and address. We took her to the mall, the arcade, once a movie and one time we even went over to her Grandma’s house to meet the rest of her family. We felt a connection with everyone. They were so good to us and very supportive of the adoption.